"KUNG pwede lang sanang i-USB ang passion, matagal ko na sanang ginawa..." she sighs with a frustrated expression on her face. You put on your sympathetic face, trying to find the most comforting words that you could say. "Well, ganyan talaga." After all your efforts of rummaging through ready-made quotes at the back of your mind, still the lamest words come out of you. Ganyan talaga? Lame. She starts eating her slice of her favorite triple chocolate cake.
"Hindi naman sa hindi siya romantic. Nag-dinner date kami noon sa bahay nila. May kandila sa mesa. Sisig ang niluto niya. Pero candlelight dinner 'yun kasi walang kuryente. Pagtingin ko sa basurahan, galing pala sa lata ang niluto niya. Pinainit lang at nilagyan ng sibuyas tapos pinigaan ng kalamansi. Kaya nung nag-dinner kami sa bahay ko, nagluto ako ng carbonara. Bumili ako ng scented candles at naka-mood lights pa ang kusina. Pinakita ko sa kanya kung ano ang dinner date. Bakit hindi siya gumawa ng effort tulad ng efforts ko?" She finishes the cake and is now working her way to almost-licking her plate off of leftover chocolate icing.
His EFFORT versus your EFFORTS - the battle between the SINGULAR and the PLURAL. Ganyan talaga, the thought keeps tumbling in your head. Ganyan talaga kapag sobra ang expectations mo. You position yourself to strike a verbal blow, "Ikaw kasi, ang galing mong magmahal. Ang galing-galing mo!" She pauses for a few seconds then stares at you silently for a few more. "Oo nga. Ang galing ko. Kung masalubong ko sa Parian ang sarili ko, iuuwi ko at pakakasalan ko. I am the most romantic person I know. I'd be lucky to have me."
Finding and choosing someone to love and have a relationship with is the easiest among the most difficult things to do in the world. Maintaining a relationship is far more complicated. But when expectations seep in, that is when everything becomes complex. The honeymoon stage becomes bittersweet and the promise land turns barren when you expect more than what you should.
"Para hindi ako masaktan, huwag na lang kaya ako mag-expect? Mahirap na talagang umasa na kiligin pa ako sa mga panahon ngayon. Gusto kong kiligin..." She signals the waiter for another serving of the same cake. You take a sip from your cup of hot coffee tea. "Huy, ano na nga? Paano ako kikiligin? Gusto kong kiligin..."
Is it wrong to expect?
No, it is not wrong to have expectations. It comes as natural to us as breathing. What is wrong is when you expect nothing. What is wrong is when you expect something else from someone who has already given you what he can.
The truth is, when you give, you should also receive. You just do not always receive what you want to. Sometimes, it is not even from the same person that you gave to. Rewards come in many forms, not just one. Do not expect him to be someone else that he is not. Learn to see through his eyes. The answer might just be in how he patiently waited while lining up in the cashier's lane at the grocery store while waiting to pay for the three candlesticks he bought. It may be in the way he thought of you and how he knew you liked this particular brand of sisig from a can. It may be in the once-in-every-few-months chance that a power outage may be turned into a memorable quality time together while the whole world is blanketed in darkness. Well... maybe not the whole world - just his block of the neighborhood. Learn to see through someone else's eyes, not just yours.
"Eh ikaw, kamusta na ang lovelife mo? May nakita ka na ba?" She darts her own verbal blow. It takes you several minutes before you could recover but she overtakes you with a follow up. "Siya pa rin ba? Hanggang ngayon? Ang martir mo naman. Tragically romantic nga lang. Hindi mo pa ba nasasabi sa kanya na mahal mo siya? Torpe ka nga, bespren. Kung ako nga na bespren mo hindi mo pa magawang sabihin kung sino siya, eh 'yung ipagtapat mo pa kaya sa kanya ang nararamdaman mo?"
You start to mumble the words, "Kung pwede lang sanang i-USB ang passion, matagal ko na sanang ginawa..." but she does not hear you because the waiter interrupts and delivers her second serving of the cake. You smile at the way she does it ever so enthusiastically. "Okay lang 'yan bespren", she continues, "kasi kung may girlfriend ka na, malamang hindi mo na ako masasamahan sa mga relationship emergencies kong ganito. Maganda ba siya? Kasing ganda ko ba?" She begins to laugh while pouring the syrup. Her cute little snort as she laughs amuses you even more. She suddenly stops laughing and pouring the syrup. She looks at you with her eyes trying to recall something. She asks you, "ano na nga pala 'yung sinabi mo bago dumating 'yung waiter?" You just smile.
Ganyan talaga. You do not always get what you want. Either learn to live with it or do something about it.
--
more than my share's note:
I <3 you Boss. Thank you for loving me for who I am and accepting the things that I can't do.
"Hindi naman sa hindi siya romantic. Nag-dinner date kami noon sa bahay nila. May kandila sa mesa. Sisig ang niluto niya. Pero candlelight dinner 'yun kasi walang kuryente. Pagtingin ko sa basurahan, galing pala sa lata ang niluto niya. Pinainit lang at nilagyan ng sibuyas tapos pinigaan ng kalamansi. Kaya nung nag-dinner kami sa bahay ko, nagluto ako ng carbonara. Bumili ako ng scented candles at naka-mood lights pa ang kusina. Pinakita ko sa kanya kung ano ang dinner date. Bakit hindi siya gumawa ng effort tulad ng efforts ko?" She finishes the cake and is now working her way to almost-licking her plate off of leftover chocolate icing.
His EFFORT versus your EFFORTS - the battle between the SINGULAR and the PLURAL. Ganyan talaga, the thought keeps tumbling in your head. Ganyan talaga kapag sobra ang expectations mo. You position yourself to strike a verbal blow, "Ikaw kasi, ang galing mong magmahal. Ang galing-galing mo!" She pauses for a few seconds then stares at you silently for a few more. "Oo nga. Ang galing ko. Kung masalubong ko sa Parian ang sarili ko, iuuwi ko at pakakasalan ko. I am the most romantic person I know. I'd be lucky to have me."
Finding and choosing someone to love and have a relationship with is the easiest among the most difficult things to do in the world. Maintaining a relationship is far more complicated. But when expectations seep in, that is when everything becomes complex. The honeymoon stage becomes bittersweet and the promise land turns barren when you expect more than what you should.
"Para hindi ako masaktan, huwag na lang kaya ako mag-expect? Mahirap na talagang umasa na kiligin pa ako sa mga panahon ngayon. Gusto kong kiligin..." She signals the waiter for another serving of the same cake. You take a sip from your cup of hot coffee tea. "Huy, ano na nga? Paano ako kikiligin? Gusto kong kiligin..."
Is it wrong to expect?
No, it is not wrong to have expectations. It comes as natural to us as breathing. What is wrong is when you expect nothing. What is wrong is when you expect something else from someone who has already given you what he can.
The truth is, when you give, you should also receive. You just do not always receive what you want to. Sometimes, it is not even from the same person that you gave to. Rewards come in many forms, not just one. Do not expect him to be someone else that he is not. Learn to see through his eyes. The answer might just be in how he patiently waited while lining up in the cashier's lane at the grocery store while waiting to pay for the three candlesticks he bought. It may be in the way he thought of you and how he knew you liked this particular brand of sisig from a can. It may be in the once-in-every-few-months chance that a power outage may be turned into a memorable quality time together while the whole world is blanketed in darkness. Well... maybe not the whole world - just his block of the neighborhood. Learn to see through someone else's eyes, not just yours.
"Eh ikaw, kamusta na ang lovelife mo? May nakita ka na ba?" She darts her own verbal blow. It takes you several minutes before you could recover but she overtakes you with a follow up. "Siya pa rin ba? Hanggang ngayon? Ang martir mo naman. Tragically romantic nga lang. Hindi mo pa ba nasasabi sa kanya na mahal mo siya? Torpe ka nga, bespren. Kung ako nga na bespren mo hindi mo pa magawang sabihin kung sino siya, eh 'yung ipagtapat mo pa kaya sa kanya ang nararamdaman mo?"
You start to mumble the words, "Kung pwede lang sanang i-USB ang passion, matagal ko na sanang ginawa..." but she does not hear you because the waiter interrupts and delivers her second serving of the cake. You smile at the way she does it ever so enthusiastically. "Okay lang 'yan bespren", she continues, "kasi kung may girlfriend ka na, malamang hindi mo na ako masasamahan sa mga relationship emergencies kong ganito. Maganda ba siya? Kasing ganda ko ba?" She begins to laugh while pouring the syrup. Her cute little snort as she laughs amuses you even more. She suddenly stops laughing and pouring the syrup. She looks at you with her eyes trying to recall something. She asks you, "ano na nga pala 'yung sinabi mo bago dumating 'yung waiter?" You just smile.
Ganyan talaga. You do not always get what you want. Either learn to live with it or do something about it.
--
more than my share's note:
I <3 you Boss. Thank you for loving me for who I am and accepting the things that I can't do.