Both of you are almost late for your first class today. He speeds his driving because he needs to be at school before 8:30. Both of you still have 10-minutes thank God for that short cut he knew. He hastily stopped in front of your school. “Pasok na, late na tayo,” he said in a very cold tone “Tagal mo kasi eh.” You shrugged his words, “You should have left me na lang instead of this.” You slammed the door or the car without even saying good bye.
In this situation, you’d ask… where is romance here?
The answers are more like questions. Too much fun with Barkada? Overtime or overload of school work? Practical answers do not help either. The Green-eyed Monster ate it? Practicality killed it? Just imagine if romance committed suicide.
Recently, I have been surrounded by relationships that needed CPR. It challenged my own belief in keeping the heart pumping and oxygen flowing in my own side of town. The idea of practicality killing romance made me grimace.
How do you make a relationship work? How do you keep the flame burning?
Some people would be quick to say that the answer to this question is very elementary. Flowers or chocolates – or both! A movie date watching the latest 3D. Dinner in the most expensive restaurant that you can (or probably cannot) afford.
The way I see it, it is more elementary than you think. My answer - it is in the simple things. It is in the daily “effortless efforts” that may pass as almost negligible.
Romance is in the way you try to laugh at his jokes, which he seems to try to deliver a quota of three per hour. In the way he tickles you so that you smile before you fall asleep at the end of a tiresome day or when you hug him from his back so that he feels relaxed after a day of backbreaking work. It is in the way you brush a lock of his hair from his forehead or in the way he gently touch your elbow as you involuntarily walk a step backward. The truth is it may also be in the way you send him a smiley or a simple “hmph”.
You may not realize it but maybe the most romantic moment is in the way you ask him how his day was and you ease his woes as you rest your head on his shoulder. It is in the way you clasp his hand inside even while he’s driving the car (Yes, positive reckless driving as you call it.) on the way home. It is in the way you make “gigil” to his right arm and squish it was hard as you can. It is in the way your relationship has grown to include virtual reality in your text messages like *mwuah * or *hug ko nga yan ng mahigpit * every now and then.
It is in the way you say sorry and I love you in so many ways even if you are so irritated or even mad from that special person.
Imagine if this happened that morning:
Both of you are almost late for your first class today. He speeds his driving because he needs to be at school before 8:30. Both of you still have 10-minutes thank God for that short cut he knew. He hastily stopped in front of your school. “Pasok na, late na tayo,” he said in a very cold tone “Tagal mo kasi eh.” You held the small contraption to open the car, but you stopped and leaned towards him. You plant a kiss on his lips and say, “Sorry, it won’t happen again. Ingat. May 10 minutes pa.” Then you plant a second kiss and say, “Eto, para mamayang lunch ‘yan.” You plant a third and say, “Para mamayang meryenda.” And you plant a fourth kiss, only this time it is much deeper, “Wala lang. Extra ‘yan. Baka magkulang. See you 5:30. Love you.”
Never neglect the most simple things s/he does for you. These small efforts are those that really matter.