Cassandra Lynn Dizon
Those big hazel eyes pierce through me as she looked at me with pleading and awe. She stokes my long silky hair with her delicate cold fingers. And she held me like I’m the most important thing in the world. “I wish I could be like you!” She exclaimed.
“You are so pretty! I’m sure many boys around the world have a crush on you. I will never look like you…but I want to be! I’m so tiny and fragile. I have very pale bluish skin and my lips always crack. I envy you!”
“If only you knew I was originally made to be sex toys for men. There was nothing endearing about that. If only you knew how beautiful and special you are. How innocence radiates through your little angelic face.”
She tucked me in bed beside her and continued talking as if she knew I was listening. “You are so skinny! Like how supermodels on TV look. If I’m still alive by next year, I’d do everything to have a body like yours!”
“If only you knew how miserable it is to be made out of plastic! If only you knew how lucky you are that you have a body that’s yours…that’s unique. All of my kind has the same physique.”
She finally closed the window beside her bed, getting ready to sleep. “You even have the most fabulous clothes! It is so fascinating! My mom only buys me beautiful clothes during Christmas and my birthdays! It must be nice having so many clothes to choose from!”
“If only you knew how I’ve always wanted a simpler life…like yours. I never wanted those flashy clothes. And how I wish I were like you who has a mom to lean on.” She was about to close her eyes. But before that, she said one final piece.
“But you know what I envy most about you? You’re always smiling. Maybe because your life is already too perfect! You’re the luckiest girl in the world!”
“If only you knew how much I wanted to be real…just like you; a girl who has real emotions. Who can see, feel, care and dream. If only you knew that I wanted to explore, to learn, to see life beyond a box or a dollhouse. You are free to do all of that. I am not. I am caged, trapped in this shell of beauty and perfection. How I wish you could hear me. How I wish you knew that it’s you I envy!” A ray of light appeared as I realized that someone opened the door.
“Lindsay, how are you feeling? I’ll take another blood sample from you again, okay?” “Why do you always take my blood? I thought nurses are supposed to take care of children, not hurt them.
” The nurse flashed her warm smile. “The doctor needs to check your blood and see if you’ll be okay already. You wouldn’t want to stay here in the hospital longer, wouldn’t you?” Lindsay shook her head and unwillingly stretched her arms as the nurse took her blood.
“I’ll get well soon, wouldn’t I? My Lukemia will go away soon.”
“Of course! If you continue to take your medicine and follow what the doctor tells you, you’ll be fine again. You can play again, go to school, even celebrate your 7th birthday with your friends.”
The nurse looked at me with beaming eyes, trying to sound hopeful for Lindsay. “Oh! And you’ll even look as beautiful as your Barbie that’s lying next to you!”
“Then I’ll do my best to recover as soon as possible!”
Lindsay said with pride. I knew from the start I was made out of plastic. But hearing all what Lindsay had to say brought a pang in my chest
I might have even shed a tear.
Those big hazel eyes pierce through me as she looked at me with pleading and awe. She stokes my long silky hair with her delicate cold fingers. And she held me like I’m the most important thing in the world. “I wish I could be like you!” She exclaimed.
“You are so pretty! I’m sure many boys around the world have a crush on you. I will never look like you…but I want to be! I’m so tiny and fragile. I have very pale bluish skin and my lips always crack. I envy you!”
“If only you knew I was originally made to be sex toys for men. There was nothing endearing about that. If only you knew how beautiful and special you are. How innocence radiates through your little angelic face.”
She tucked me in bed beside her and continued talking as if she knew I was listening. “You are so skinny! Like how supermodels on TV look. If I’m still alive by next year, I’d do everything to have a body like yours!”
“If only you knew how miserable it is to be made out of plastic! If only you knew how lucky you are that you have a body that’s yours…that’s unique. All of my kind has the same physique.”
She finally closed the window beside her bed, getting ready to sleep. “You even have the most fabulous clothes! It is so fascinating! My mom only buys me beautiful clothes during Christmas and my birthdays! It must be nice having so many clothes to choose from!”
“If only you knew how I’ve always wanted a simpler life…like yours. I never wanted those flashy clothes. And how I wish I were like you who has a mom to lean on.” She was about to close her eyes. But before that, she said one final piece.
“But you know what I envy most about you? You’re always smiling. Maybe because your life is already too perfect! You’re the luckiest girl in the world!”
“If only you knew how much I wanted to be real…just like you; a girl who has real emotions. Who can see, feel, care and dream. If only you knew that I wanted to explore, to learn, to see life beyond a box or a dollhouse. You are free to do all of that. I am not. I am caged, trapped in this shell of beauty and perfection. How I wish you could hear me. How I wish you knew that it’s you I envy!” A ray of light appeared as I realized that someone opened the door.
“Lindsay, how are you feeling? I’ll take another blood sample from you again, okay?” “Why do you always take my blood? I thought nurses are supposed to take care of children, not hurt them.
” The nurse flashed her warm smile. “The doctor needs to check your blood and see if you’ll be okay already. You wouldn’t want to stay here in the hospital longer, wouldn’t you?” Lindsay shook her head and unwillingly stretched her arms as the nurse took her blood.
“I’ll get well soon, wouldn’t I? My Lukemia will go away soon.”
“Of course! If you continue to take your medicine and follow what the doctor tells you, you’ll be fine again. You can play again, go to school, even celebrate your 7th birthday with your friends.”
The nurse looked at me with beaming eyes, trying to sound hopeful for Lindsay. “Oh! And you’ll even look as beautiful as your Barbie that’s lying next to you!”
“Then I’ll do my best to recover as soon as possible!”
Lindsay said with pride. I knew from the start I was made out of plastic. But hearing all what Lindsay had to say brought a pang in my chest
I might have even shed a tear.