Look how happy we are in this photo. And how we are in a bunch of others, as well.
And look how, right now, I only see an expired happiness through the reflection of my eyes in the mirror. And how I feel, every second that I look through every photograph, my body slowly weakening in its very vulnerability, in its outmost fragility. How right now do I immediately feel my bones creak and shake and break — well, almost, I guess. I can’t even feel composure in every atom and in every quark, in every seismic molecule that seems to break out inside; how I almost run out of air in my lungs, how I run out of breath every single time I see this happiness that already died in its due time.
See, this is how it ends. How I start to forget, yet in forgetting all I ever do is remember. How in the end, everything would just feel like a drag; how in the lapses of sleep and waking up do I ever never escape. See, it ends then just about everyone tells me to go on and begin anew. Yet I’m blinded and jaded and tired and every heave of every heavy sigh purposefully just takes in another one.
Truest of all facts is, case in point, and right now — all I ever do want to say is I miss you. I miss how I feel unmeasured happiness in its infinity whenever I’m with you. I miss imagined fireworks and sparks in my head whenever you hold my hand. I miss playing pretend in bed, pretending I’m asleep just to see if you’d kiss me good night. And all the time, you do. And I miss how my heart leaps a thousand and one times whenever you smile and call me kid, or say those three words that mean everything to me. I miss writing about your presence, and not your absence — which in the past months was all I ever did, and still do.
Look how I am, and look through to how I was. It will never be the same. Because with the bittersweet truth of goodbyes and hellos, the most painful of them all is us experiencing that cycle itself.
I still ask fate or God or whatever or whoever why every ounce of force in the universe led me to meeting you. Why did the world ever give you to me? I know that in all the borrowed time I’ve already exhausted and wasted and cherished and loved that I think it was never enough. It will never be enough. I’ve always known that someday, they’ll take you away from me. You don’t know how much I repeatedly ask whoever and whatever that led you to me, in this crazy and messed-up world we live in, that this isn’t the time yet. Please, let them make you stay a bit longer. Even just for a little while.
But I guess I have to live with it. Live with the idea of you who shall belong to someone else, in the coming days or weeks or months or even years. Live with the truth that our time has already expired. That what’s left of our fate is just me and you trying to just forget. And there’s never a thought more hurting than that right now — you, forgetting me. And me, forgetting you.
note:
Written by someone who I admire so much. His writing skill is just amazing. I tried to make him part of the blogsite but he turned the offer down. He said he quit writing and that breaks my heart. It's fine for him not to join the site but he should never quit. This was done just 3o mins after I tricked him to do this- his good bye piece. I saw perfection when I read this.
please help me convince him not to give up in writing. click like.
-tofu with pen
And look how, right now, I only see an expired happiness through the reflection of my eyes in the mirror. And how I feel, every second that I look through every photograph, my body slowly weakening in its very vulnerability, in its outmost fragility. How right now do I immediately feel my bones creak and shake and break — well, almost, I guess. I can’t even feel composure in every atom and in every quark, in every seismic molecule that seems to break out inside; how I almost run out of air in my lungs, how I run out of breath every single time I see this happiness that already died in its due time.
See, this is how it ends. How I start to forget, yet in forgetting all I ever do is remember. How in the end, everything would just feel like a drag; how in the lapses of sleep and waking up do I ever never escape. See, it ends then just about everyone tells me to go on and begin anew. Yet I’m blinded and jaded and tired and every heave of every heavy sigh purposefully just takes in another one.
Truest of all facts is, case in point, and right now — all I ever do want to say is I miss you. I miss how I feel unmeasured happiness in its infinity whenever I’m with you. I miss imagined fireworks and sparks in my head whenever you hold my hand. I miss playing pretend in bed, pretending I’m asleep just to see if you’d kiss me good night. And all the time, you do. And I miss how my heart leaps a thousand and one times whenever you smile and call me kid, or say those three words that mean everything to me. I miss writing about your presence, and not your absence — which in the past months was all I ever did, and still do.
Look how I am, and look through to how I was. It will never be the same. Because with the bittersweet truth of goodbyes and hellos, the most painful of them all is us experiencing that cycle itself.
I still ask fate or God or whatever or whoever why every ounce of force in the universe led me to meeting you. Why did the world ever give you to me? I know that in all the borrowed time I’ve already exhausted and wasted and cherished and loved that I think it was never enough. It will never be enough. I’ve always known that someday, they’ll take you away from me. You don’t know how much I repeatedly ask whoever and whatever that led you to me, in this crazy and messed-up world we live in, that this isn’t the time yet. Please, let them make you stay a bit longer. Even just for a little while.
But I guess I have to live with it. Live with the idea of you who shall belong to someone else, in the coming days or weeks or months or even years. Live with the truth that our time has already expired. That what’s left of our fate is just me and you trying to just forget. And there’s never a thought more hurting than that right now — you, forgetting me. And me, forgetting you.
note:
Written by someone who I admire so much. His writing skill is just amazing. I tried to make him part of the blogsite but he turned the offer down. He said he quit writing and that breaks my heart. It's fine for him not to join the site but he should never quit. This was done just 3o mins after I tricked him to do this- his good bye piece. I saw perfection when I read this.
please help me convince him not to give up in writing. click like.
-tofu with pen